The other day as I was out walking I realised that I have been pretty much ‘in the zone’ (as I call it – borrowed perhaps from Oprah?) – since my mum died on January 7. What I mean by that is that I have been living a life very much in the moment – I have had minimal thoughts, let alone concerns, about the future, and few contemplations of the past. For the past 4+ months have been ones in which I have largely known what it is I want to do and be and I have simply done and been it. I have been filled a lot of the time with a love and trust that has given me courage – and through which I have been rewarded by the love and trust of others around me – both those I know and those I do not.

 

And this love and trust, and gratitude have been rewarded and returned not just be people, but often by events, by occurrances, by happenings. The universe/god/the oneness/the power – whatever it is called – has rewarded me. For there is an order in the crazy dance of life – the exact details of how it works I don’t know for it is unknowable in any rational way – it simply is.  It is here/there  everywhere – we see it as simply some untamed, uncertain and uncontrollable reality that lies under the roads and signs and maps and structure and order we have placed upon it.  And for most of us we are afraid of it, simply because it appears chaotic, unordered and it is completely and utterly unknowable.

 

Yet it is. It exists. And it displays its existence and its connectivity to us through those things we call chance and coincidence and luck. Those are the words we have given its appearance. There is another word for these moments. These moments that often seem quite magical – for that is what they are – we are experiencing the magic of the universe, the mystery of god. The word for it is ‘synchronicity’.

 

And in this extended moment of love and trust and incidents of magic and synchronicity there is one person who has been central.  Has been at the centre of my world, at the centre of the love and trust I experience, and which sustains me – which keeps me ‘in the zone’.  Thanks Caroline. 

 

 

  Thanks for loving me so deeply, so fully that your love sustains me – it is your love that is predominant, so ever and often present in my life right now. It is your love that lets me know that I am worthy, that I am loveable.  It is your love that exists in your breath and your body that is real.  You are home.  You have and continue to give me so much in so many ways.  Thank you.

 

So, ‘The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time’ .  This is what happened – and this, is a true story.  About 2 weeks ago I was getting close to finishing a book I was reading – can’t remember which one that was now, and mentioned to Cari that I had seen this book,  ’The Curious Incident….’ in a shop and had heard it was worth reading. She said it was, and that she had it. However when she looked for it on her shelves it was nowhere to be found. She figured she must have lent it to someone and it hadn’t come back. Nevermind I would look for it in the charity shops that I frequent.  About 2 or 3 days later I finished my book, and having not found ‘The Curious Incident…’ I headed off walking to Oxford (which took me 5 days). On the first day out, keen to have something to read,  I visited Slough, and in a charity shop there while looking for ‘The Curious Incident…’ I found an alternative book to read. I took this with me to Oxford.

 

Cari joined me for the weekend in Oxford. On Saturday whilst browsing through Oxford, I found ‘The Curious Incident…’ in an Oxfam shop. However for some reason, perhaps because I still had  a few pages to go in my current book, I did not buy it.

 

We returned to London. About 4 days later I was very close to finishing my book, I still had not found ‘The Curious Incident…’.  I guess it was about near to 3 weeks since I had first thought about looking for it.

 

Then a package arrived from New Zealand, from my dear friend Kate. It was unexpected and unsolicited. Inside the package was a card and a book.  The book was ‘The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time’.  In the card Kate told how the book had been recommended to her some time ago – by a number of people, but especially by a mutual friend who had since died of cancer. She had finally got round to reading it, had finished it and having enjoyed it so much, thought of me – and posted it to me.

 

Kate had no idea (rationally) that I was looking for this book.  I had no idea she knew about the book, let alone was actually reading it on the other side of the world.

 

Yet I was looking for it.  Or rather I was waiting for it.  And it arrived. All the way from the other side of the world.

 

Luck, chance, coincidence? All those, and synchronicity and magic and mystery. I just LOVE it.

 

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

Tags: ambiguity, caroline, magic, synchronicity

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 25th, 2008 at 12:09 am and is filed under [3] be present, [7] be grateful, trust. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.