delicious ambiguity
a m b i g u i t y
there’s been a lot of this around lately
which doesn’t really surprise me
as it is
actually
as it is
Perhaps I should explain – and excuse me if I am repeating myself, although I think there are so few of you reading this regularly to notice – ha! (Marney and Kate – I know you are – I love you xx) And please - anyone else out there paying some attention let me know - it’ll invigorate my motivation [not that I write for an audience or anything!]
Anyway, delicious ambiguity – ah yes! This is when we are in a place where we do not know what is happening, we are in a moment, and to some extent remain in that moment as the ‘next’ one is ambigious, uncertain, multiple.
There is a whole theory around this, mmmm Bohm I think? I’ll google it and see what I can find….don’t go away…. ok… not so helpful - maybe it was my theory, and I think what I did was leap off Bohm’s work around quantum wave-packet collapse (geez seems like another lifetime – ha!). Anyway getting off the subject a little.
Delicious ambiguity – it goes like this. The world is, in reality, a chaotic, random, ambigious place with each moment we experience being full of a myriad of possibilities [lots of 'i's in possibilities I notice - hmmm]. What we, as mere humans do, is impose our order upon this random kalediscope of creative potentiality. And we simply do this through being who we are, what we have become, that is our constructed self (children do much less imposing of order - their worlds are much more fluid and expansive). As we grow and construct our ’self’, each of us becomes different, so each of us does this ordering and structuring in our own way. Basically within each moment of our lives we create the next moment – we are constantly ordering and structuring the wonder and mystery and ambiguity of the universe so as to be able to ‘be’ in it, in some coherent and consistent way (which for some reason we believe is ever so important).
Now, every now and again we don’t. For some reason, sometimes accidental (e.g grief, shock), sometimes conscious (e.g. drugs, meditation) we stop ordering our world. Whoa! What happens then is we go through the gap, like Alice we actually enter wonderland. Now wonderland – as it is beneath our layer of structure and order may seem to us either completely freakin confusing and scary (cause everything is so random, multiple and ambigious) or it may be completely freakin confusing and liberating (cause everything is so random, multiple and ambigious) and just sometimes it may be freaking confusing and scary and liberating all at once.
So, delicious ambiguity? This is practice. This is when some of the ambiguity of wonderland (and usually not much) slips through and expresses itself forcefully within our ordered lives. When within our lives, within our selves, there exists a multiplicity of realities. There is at the very least, a fork in the path right in front of us, with nothing to choose between the different ways forward. Often the decision as to which path we take appears to be out of our control (which of course is an illusion, as nothing and no one but ourselves creates our reality).
So we stand there/here staring at the fork, undecided, unsure, ambiguous. Wonderful practice! Lots of practice. Practice being still. Practice not knowing. Practice being in uncertainty. Practice no judgement (as either path is wonderful and full of potential). Practice non-attachment. Practice TRUST.
delicious
x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x
