written 5 days ago … on the other side of the world

 

I’m getting ready to go. Slowly. Trying to take my time. Trying to slow it all down. And of course it passes – there is another moment of waking in bed next to you. Another morning, shared coffee, tea and cigarettes. Another moment to look into your sleepy face, at your mussy hair. Time to watch you dress and feel reassured when you poke your tongue at me.

 

So much time to be with you. Now there is forever, much longer than anything I can imagine yet to come. I imagine  a crescendo somewhere ahead, maybe that will come once we are parted. Maybe we will surprise ourselves and will continue as we are now. Simply being with each other as we always have.

 

I look forward to missing you. Deeply as I will when I am flying, and soulfully when I am walking and you are no longer right there in the air that I breathe. I look forward to realising what is missing from my life, from me. I look forward to every moment that I can be without you and know how that feels.

 

I look forward to seeing you again. Holding you again. Living with you again and being surrounded by your love.

 

I look forward to where I am going, for I trust that is a place that brings me even closer to you.

 

 

 

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

Tags: caroline, trust

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 10th, 2010 at 5:00 pm and is filed under family, friends and me, suffering, trust. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.