Well, the badger has farted, or to put it more succinctly the cat is out of the bag (and the box) and the dog is once again on the other side of the world. If that makes any sense at all, then you know me very well indeed.

 

I am back in the land of the long white cloud, wooden houses and cicadas – just three of the things I have noticed on my first day back (oh and blue skies, warm air and flies, lots of flies). There is obviously so much surrounding my return, and my departure, my coming and my going. Much of it I am still not conscious of, however I do know that over the last 4 weeks I have worked a lot of stuff, shifted things, dug, excavated, opened and shut my mouth, spoken up and kept quiet. And the person who has been there, right beside me, alongside me through all of that is Cari.

 

So while there are so many thoughts and things that I could write about, right here, right now, there is only one.  I just hope my words can capture all that I feel. Here goes…

 

Cari. Thank you. Once again you have set me free. As you have done so many times, in so many moments. This time the moment has lasted long enough for us to know it, for us to be in it so fully. In my leaving I have come once again to recognise the magnitude of your simple and gentle love for me. Of that I am grateful. Yet I know it is not just in this moment that your light surrounds me, it is there in all moments. It is there always and in all ways. It has never faded. It burns so bright and so consistently that I have often failed to recognise that it is your light that has warmed my skin, filled my heart and cleared my vision.

 

So yes, for this moment, thank you. I am so happy in this moment. Thank you.

 

And for all the multitude of moments that have gone before, those in relation to which I have not stopped to express my gratitude, I do so now. Thank you for loving me as you do. For always and in all ways giving me the gift of freedom.

 

It is through that freedom that I have come to realise true happiness.

 

I love you dearly my darling.

 

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

 

 

Tags: caroline, love

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 10th, 2010 at 11:07 am and is filed under 'my stuff', [7] be grateful, family, friends and me. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.