Tobias came with me. We took a road trip to Tapora. It was good to have him with me, good for him to know where I am. Good that he delivered me here, hugged me and left. What an amazing place this is. Perfectly Jim-like. Quiet, gentle, inviting, grounded, safe, solitary and full of wisdom. Full of books that speak of love and God, compassion and enlightenment. And I just adore the décor. 70’s retro with lots of browns and oranges, my favorite colours.

 

 

     

 

I feel alone, I feel at home. Ready for what lies ahead over the next week or so.

 

I know it took me some time to get here, and some effort. I had resistance and now that I am alone in this quiet space I recognize what some of that was. I was afraid of being by myself. Afraid that I would become uncomfortable with my own company, that I would quickly come to dislike sharing the silence with this self that I am.

 

And yet now I feel greatly at peace. I feel I have time. The sense of urgency and busy-ness that so often plagues me is dissipating, receding. My heartbeat slows, my breathing is steady, settled. I am slowing down. I am pleased.

 

A lone loud fly buzzes around reminding me that I am not alone. Reminding me of other places, other times. Reminding me that this is an opportunity to practice, and that with practice comes insight.

 

I decide upon a routine for the days ahead. There are things I want to do and of course with intention comes success. While I am here I want to:

 

• Meditate at least twice a day
• Complete the CELTA pre-assignment
• Substantially improve my understanding of English grammar
• Draft a framework for an 8-10 week (1 – 1.5 hrs per week) dharma course

 

My days will begin at 4.00am and include time for all the above in every day, as well as six meals a day, rest and walking time, and free time.

 

I am ready.

 

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 7th, 2010 at 11:41 pm and is filed under 'my stuff', places I've been. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.