He remembered that one time. One time, about five years ago, when it had seemed that he had entered into a state of pure equilibruim with all that surrounded him. He remembered a feeling of peace, of ease. It was a moment in which he was never conscious of making a decision. Things just happened. Not separate from him and not ‘to’ him, but kind of ‘with’ him. In that moment, in that time he was part of all that existed. Just a part, not the main part or anything more than just another part, like the paint on the wall, the grass on the kerb, the people walking down the street as he drove past, the street itself.  It was all equal and therefore it was not up to him to decide what happened next, no one or no thing decided that, there was no need to decide because things just seemed to happen. Everything became like breathing, just happening without thinking. Life went on, life goes on.

 

Living, he recalled, in that moment, was easy.

 

 

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

 

 

 

Another day gone and another day closer to the end/beginning. As with yesterday as time passes I become more and more convinced that I will return to the UK as soon as this is over.

 

My future lies in uncertainty – increasingly it seems that I do not know what lies ahead until it is practically upon me. Having said that my experience yesterday of sitting on  park bench and seeing myself sitting further up the park 3 years earlier has left me with a strange sort of knowing.  An unformed feeling that our futures are always right in front of us (I think there is a tweet in there somewhere!)

 

‘Our future is always right in front of us – it is simply what we are not, now’

 

Or something like that. I am left knowing that we know what we will be, as clearly as we know what we have been. And the trick lies in somehow coming to know and accept what we are not now [which of course is part of what we always are, always have been, and always will be].

 

I ramble again. Another morning, coffee and cigarettes at Divan. A moment of routine now before I head off across city streets to my place of learning.

 

It all goes well. I was up at 2.45 this morning to complete an assignment due today. I still have some final details to finish and yet I sit here relaxed, writing, at peace. This is a good sign! – ha! Despite the intense pace of the course I am remaining quite calm – and that calmness increases as the days pass. It comes partly from a building confidence in what I am required to do. A growing comfortableness in my role as a teacher. That is what generates the fear, the doubt, and the more I perform that role (I have taught 5 lessons already!) the more I know what I can do, and the less there is to be afraid of. A good feeling!!!

 

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

 

 

With persistent practice, consciousness may eventually be perceived or felt as an entity of mere luminosity and knowing, to which anything is capable of appearing and which, when appropriate conditions arise, can be generated in the image of whatsoever object. As long as the mind does not encounter the external circumstance of conceptuality, it will abide empty without anything appearing in it, like clear water. Its very entity is that of mere experience. Let the mind flow of its own accord without conceptual overlay. Let the mind rest in its natural state, and observe it. In the beginning, when you are not used to this practice, it is quite difficult, but in time the mind appears like clear water.
–The Dalai Lama, in The Dalai Lama: A Policy of Kindness

 

Let the mind rest in its natural state, and observe it. In the beginning, when you are not used to this practice, it is quite difficult.
 
Always practice -  and more practice.
 
The only way you can ‘cruise’ is (a) if you have no more lessons to learn, or (b) you take a cruisy attitude to the lessons as they present themselves. Remember we all suffer, every one of us, all the time. So there is no end to suffering. Do not wish that to cease, such wishing is pointless and ultimately debilitating.

 
Rather the trick (and the lesson, every lesson) is to change the way we respond to suffering. By being less torn and upset by it we feel like we are cruising more (obviously), life becomes ‘easier’.
 
Others perceive us as suffering less. They are right and wrong. Do not confuse the exterior conditions of suffering  (those that were once causes) with interior ’sufferance’. The external conditions of suffering are still there, what we learn is to suffer less (and laugh more? be more irreverent? take it less seriously?). What we learn is that these external conditions need not cause us to be unhappy.

 

 
To reach the point that the DL describes we must first accept all that ‘appears’ in our consciousness as ‘ok’. That is as neither good nor bad, neither having the characteristic of invoking pleasure or suffering. Things that appear ’simply are’. When this is the case we have (and must accept) total responsibility for how we will feel in regard to this things. Sufferance becomes a choice.

 
x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

 

 

‘Teachers open the door. You enter by yourself.[1]’

                                                                       

 

I was raised by teachers. Most of my earliest years were spent at the back of a small classroom listening to my mother teach. I grew up with teachers, and was a student as much as a son. Since my parents stopped teaching me I have sought and found others to open doors for me and encourage me to pass through.

 

What makes a ‘good’ teacher? I have often wondered. Yet I must know what it is I seek, and find, in a teacher. This essay outlines my view of a teacher; the kind of teacher I aspire to be and the kind of teacher I like to be taught by. The teaching/training cycle identifies five stages. Using these I will discuss a teacher’s roles and responsibilities, and the boundaries they set for themselves and their students.

 

Identifying needs

 

A teacher does not exist without a student. In recognition of this a teacher wants to know those students he or she is in relationship with. In particular to know how each students will relate to them; their knowledge, their way of teaching and the methods they utilize. By undertaking the roles of data analyst, researcher and decision maker the teacher becomes aware of the needs of his or her students and is able to identify both barriers (e.g. physical, psychological, cultural, economic, emotional or otherwise) and aids that may effect their connection with a student. A teacher wants to connect with all their students, they want all to enter the open door, so it is critical that they know something of those that will potentially pass through.

 

Planning and design

 

With students’ needs identified effectively, the teacher takes on the roles of analyzer, planner, inventor and creator in meeting the challenge of designing and planning teaching sessions that cater for the diverse range of students in their class. The teacher is both the writer and the cover designer as they attempt to merge lesson content with lesson delivery, so that the teaching is as much in the form as the substance. All this is typically carried out within a bureaucratic environment, of which the teacher is aware, as it is their responsibility to know the legislative, political and procedural realities which impact on their classroom presence.

 

However all this is worth it as a well designed and planned session is easily executed, leaving space for the teacher to fulfill the role of presenter, performer and participant.    

 

Delivery

 

Perhaps the most important responsibility the teacher has during the delivery of a lesson is to simply be present with their students. The more prepared a teacher is for a session; the more accepting they are of their authority and leadership role (see Assessment), the more they are able to relax, let go and simply ‘be themselves’. It is through such ‘presence’ that teachers connect with, inspire and motivate their charges.

 

A teacher is a role model. They are non-judgemental, open, compassionate, enthusiastic, passionate, gracious, loving and kind. They are also effective managers who through their adaptability and non-attachment, seem to move effortlessly along the continuum between the roles of controller and facilitator. Teachers, as Harmer ( 2000: 236) states ‘who are able to mix the controlling role with a good ‘performance’ are extremely enjoyable to be taught by or observed” . 

 

Assessment

 

A teacher is comfortable with the role of ‘god’ within the teacher-student relationship. They have been gifted the authority by their students to pass judgement on them. This is a precious gift, with associated responsibilities that many teachers may struggle with. When assessing a student a teacher sees and speaks honestly and clearly. They are both courageous and compassionate in their judgement out of respect for the gift they have received from their students.

 

Evaluation

 

The same courage and compassion is present during evaluation. A teacher is open to appraisal, from others; their peers, their students, and professional bodies. All feedback is considered valuable in contributing to their ongoing growth and development. A teacher is always a student, mindful of the doors being opened for them by all those they are in contact with.

 

They know that there is always more to be learnt and are prepared to do whatever it takes to improve as a teacher. Here their responsibility is primarily to themselves; to honest, gentle self appraisal.

 

Boundaries
In all of their roles a teacher experiences boundaries and constraints. These may be moral, legal, ethical, institutional, personal, physical and/or psychological.  A teacher recognises these boundaries and strives to transcend them. This is the ultimate goal, to become the ultimate teacher, one who is truly free of self-imposed limitations and who through simply being instills others with the confidence to seek their own freedom.

 

---

[1] Chinese proverb

 

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

 

 

I can’t recall exactly where and when I first learnt this practice. I’ve googled it and have come up with this – tonglen. I’ve read a number of Pema Chodron books, and have had some read to me while at Shambhala meditation sessions. It is very likely that it is from Pema that I first learnt this practice.

 

I think of this practice as ‘black and yellow’. I practice tonglen with one of the men I visit. Mr Singh is an old frail Indian man. He speaks English well, and says very little. His wife however hardly speaks any English and talks with me all the time. I love them both to bits. Mrs Singh is always (and I mean always – ever time I open the door) smiling and laughing. She finds me enormously funny. Don’t ask me why, perhaps it is because I don’t understand a word she says, although I do now know that ‘tikka’ means something akin to ‘ok’ or ‘correct/right’. Something like that. And every morning we say ‘Co-naa’ (that’s what it sounds like anyway) to each other through the glass of the front door. This sends her into fits of laughter.

 

I am coming to recognise Mr. Singh as one of my gurus. He sure looks the part. I wash him every morning. This has always been a meditative and spiritual moment, one that at first I was a little slow to recognise. Now, every morning, I am well aware of how palpable the calmness, quiet and presence is that pervades the time  and space we share together.

 

Large blisters will rise up and pass away upon Mr. Singh’s body. I saw these as I washed him. At first I just started trying to be as present as I could when I was with him. He made this easy as he sat very still, hardly moving other than to help me as I undressed and dressed him. The few movements he makes are graceful and economical. I’d focus on each button of his shirt intently as I did them up, being mindful of my breath as I did so.

 

I guess that was akin to Anapanna Sati I learnt on the Goenka retreats. It wasn’t long before I started practising ‘black and yellow’ – trying to match my inbreath with a sense of congealed blackness entering me, and my outbreath as one with a brilliant translucent yellow light. I tried to do this without attachment. I tried to consider these moments as an opportunity for me to practice, nothing else.

 

I added something else, something that for me is a mish-mash of many things I have learnt, heard and read. As I slowly and systemtically washed Mr. Singh’s body, from head to foot I started to add blessings, such things as:

 

May your head be clear so you can be still and at peace

May your arms be strong and healthy so that you can hug those you love and keep them safe

May you chest be clear so you can breathe deeply and sleep soundly

May your stomach be healthy so you can eat well

May your legs be strong so that they can carry you whereever you may want to go

May you feet be strong and hearty, so you can stand firmly

 

So this is what I do ever morning. I am privileged to have such an opportunity. And here I was, just the other day, thinking I would like to meditate more. I think at this stage I just need to continue practising while I am with Mr. Singh.

 

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x