complete non-attachment

that lasts

maybe a minute

maybe less

I’m practising with my eyes wide open

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

This morning, for no apparent, reason, the train stopped, and I stopped with it. It stopped, I stopped, and we sat in a silence I could hear. It came to me that I have not really stopped for a long time.  How long I’d been riding that train I’m not sure, and I guess it doesn’t really matter. Not now, not now that I have this stillness. And in the quiet, I sense the wonder, the wondering of where I’ve been, and why I chose to go there.

Answers evade me.  As I chase them around and around inside my head I only become more frantic, more distracted, more distant  from the recently uncovered, rediscovered silence that lies beneath. Still no longer, the lion awakes, stirs, unfolds itself and moves so graciously towards it’s cage.  The beast does not rally against its ensnarment for it feasts on reason. In the flick of its tail, I know, I believe that in knowing the ‘whys and wherefores’, I may be less likely to return to that abyss.

I do not, I tell myself, superficially at least, feel disappointed or disturbed about the place I have been. I have been in the service of others it seems to me.  Giving of myself – or is this just an attempt to make it all seem all right?  I have not been unhappy in my exile. It has, it seems to me, to have been an absence full of purpose.

Perhaps what disturbs me, and urges me to investigate, is the notion of the separation between then/there and now/here, the difference between going somewhere and going nowhere.  In my desire to integrate the two, I sit on this stationary train, and it feels ok.  I exist in a moment that is both silent and ghostly still, and simultaneously full of purpose and intention. 

Talking, thinking, writing about this place is good. Calmly abiding in this moment is all that is required.

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

It was Valentine’s Day a few days ago now. Well perhaps more than a few – ha. It’s just been a very full life lately what with increasing my teaching hours from 9 to 20, I’m still getting my head around the lesson planning. Early morning starts and lots and lots of practice of letting go of anxiety and the sense that I’m not going to get it all done.

Anyway I digress, Valentine’s Day. A day that focuses us on romantic love: hearts and cupids, flowers and cards and words of love, desire and yearning. Romantic love is good – it is wonderful to feel the love of, and feel the love for, another.  It is uplifting and reassuring, nurturing and enlivening. It makes colours brighter and heightens our senses to the beauty in all that surrounds us. To be in love is truly a drug.

Yet there is even a more powerful, more wonderful, more enriching form of love. This is the love we are capable of feeling for all others; for every single sentinent being. I used to think this meant having a feeling of love for all in a general sense – loving and caring about humanity. It does mean that I guess, and perhaps that is a good place to start, however that offers us limited reward.

What is needed to really feel the buzz, to really feel and know and experience life as this huge, wonderful thing that just keeps happening over and over is love for all in a very specific, personal and individual sense. To love all is to love everyone, every single one of us. Once we start to nurture this we start to transform our lives.

It is the most wonderful and simplest of feelings to feel love for another living thing. It transforms us, and it spreads happiness and self belief.  Practice feeling loving towards all  you meet – practice not  being selective. Love all instantly, spontaneously, unconditionally . Begin every interaction with a feeling of love and respect for, and interest in the other. All beings, wherever the are, whatever their circumstances. 

Wish then well, want them to be happy, free from worry, concern, self doubt and fear. 

So spread the message!! Love, love, love!! Love yourself. Love all that you are, all that you have ever been and all that you will become.

Love others – all others – all others. Every single one of us. We’re all here together. Love others and you will love yourself. You will feel the love grow.

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

Who is it that is different from you? So different that they exist as they?

Those people that when you talk with one of your own can be referred to simply as ‘they’. Is it women? White people? Black people? Students? Teachers? Clients? Muslims? Brits? Beneficiaries? Bosses? Politicians?

Look again. They are not so different. Be quiet, be calm and look again.

Do you see it? The way they breath? The way they doubt. The way they wonder and wish for things they do not have?

Look. Take your time and feel their fear, their hope, their love and loathing, their disappointment and their joy, their suffering.

Do you recognise it? Do you recognise them?

Do you recognise yourself? Do you see your own fears and frustrations, your longing and your love?

Take your time. Practice …….

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

New Year Resolutions #1:

1. open up my eyes
2. look up
3. know everything is going to be all right
4. reach out
5. know God shines his light on me
6. LIVE THE LIFE I LOVE
7. use that higher power

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x