dharma
I first came across the word ‘dharma’ in any meaningful way when I attended my first Buddhist retreat over the New Year of 1999-2000. Since then the word has fascinated me, and I have increasingly come to understand and express myself and my being through it.
In one sense ‘dharma’ is a spiritual term meaning one’s righteous duty, or any virtuous path in the common sense of the term. It is a central concept in eastern philosophy used to explain the “higher truth” or ultimate reality of the universe. The word ‘dharma’ literally translates as ‘that which upholds or supports’ (from the root, Dhr, – to hold), and is generally translated into English as ‘law’. Throughout the history of eastern philosophy, it has governed ideas about the proper conduct of living – ideas that that are upheld by the laws of the universe.
For me dharma has come to refer to the way I choose to live my life, with an emphasis on ’choice’ as much as ‘live’. Through seeing my life as dharma I am constantly reminded that I am choosing it in every moment. For me dharma is not therefore a reference to a moral code, but rather to a way of being. Dharma in this sense is not something I follow (e.g. a set of rules or commandments), it is something that I am.
I believe we are all informed by our own philosophy about life. We all have ideas about living, about ourselves, about others, about what is right and wrong, what is good and bad, what exists as real and what doesn’t. Most of these ideas remain below the surface of our conscious minds. Nevertheless they inform and determine how and what we think in certain situations, how we act, interact and react. How we judge and understand ourselves and others, and make sense of all that we experience.
Over time I have become more aware, more conscious of the theories, concepts, images, associations, signs and beliefs that inform what I say and think and act, and how, and when, and why. I came to understand that there is nothing ‘natural’, ‘normal’ or ‘inherent’ about what or how I spoke, thought or acted.
My ’self’ is constructed. – through all the things I have and continue to experience: the beliefs of my mum and dad, teachers, friends, strangers, lovers, wives, sons, celebrities, authorities, students, signs and symbols. My perceptions of them, their perceptions of me – all these contribute to my perception of my ’self’. Through being a man, being white, being a second child, being loved, being pakeha, being a New Zealander, being straight, being scared – through all of the vast myriad of things I had experienced, sensed, translated, understood and been, I have grown within myself an ego. A conglomeration of ideas, perceptions, understandings, feelings and responses that informed my every thought, my every move. I am me, myself, I.
This ‘thing’ that is me – this ephemeral cluster of ever-changing vibrations is my dharma.
As you are yours
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