All the ‘a’ words today.  Cari reminded me a few days ago, while I was wallowing in self-pity and self-indulgence, that the best thing we can do at all times (and especially at times when we are feeling life is just a little bit unfair) is accept things…              

…just the way they are.

This was one of the things that Goenka stressed over and over again. I can still hear his sonorous tones – “as it is, not as you want it to be”.

as it is

Three little words that hold the key to a heap of liberation. Sure it takes a lot of practice, but hey, life provides heaps of opportunities don’t it? That’s the wonderful thing about life – it is the most natural place to practice. Don’t have to go anywhere special, don’t need some personal trainer or specialised instrument - we have all we need to practice right here, right now and ever moment to come.

Of course, the best times to practice are exactly those times when we usually least feel like it. Those times, as with me a few days ago, when we just want to feel sorry for ourselves, when we just want to feel like we are the only ones suffering here. Well perhaps not the only ones, but definitely the ones suffering the most right at this minute, and hell why can’t everyone else just see that and get on with supporting us in our pain! Especially those bastards who are causing our pain, cause in times like these we don’t like to take responsibility ourselves!

These are the times to practice. These are the opportunities. So thanks Cari for having the courage to tell me that.  That courage is part of intimate love. It is the courage to support the one you love, not by supporting their misery, their sense of victimhood, their righteous sense of injustice, but by letting them now, when they believe they least want to here it, that it is time to accept things, just the way they are.

And when we shake our heads and let go of our anger, of our sense of injustice, of our wishing that things were different. When we really truly give up and accept that this is simply the way things are, then we are ready to take action.

Acceptance does not result in apathy. Acceptance does not lead to ‘whatever’ – resignation and defeat. Genuine acceptance of things the way they are allows to us to see clearly, without anger, without pain, without affront. And when we do this we can act without fear. We can act without attachment, with no desire to achieve any result or outcome. The action in itself is enough.

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

While I was listing books on my bookshop I happened to read the back cover of Jim Thompson’s ‘The Getaway’. There is this description: “Thompson captured the spirit of his Age, and the spirit of the 20th Century’s latter half: emptiness, a feeling of loss in a land of plenty, of unease amid conformity, of alienation.”

Wow – and I thought it was just me! Well until I realised Tobias felt the same, then I just thought it was a family thing – something with which I had gifted my sons – a sense of unease amid conformity, a sense of alienation [what a great dad I am]. Now I am reading that someone thinks it is the gestalt of my time. And all of a sudden it makes such good sense. I was not alone in the way I felt. I was a child and an adult of my time.

And what these feelings of emptiness and alienation resulted in was another characteristic of the era, of those 50 years between the end of the second world war and the start of the 21st century. Cynicism.

The future is now

Yeah right!

Whatever

That was the person I used to be – alienated, isolated, uneasy, afraid and I learnt to deal with all those feelings by being cynical. Life was a struggle, life was a loser’s game. There was only one ending and the journey to arrive there was full of pain and disappointment. Get used to it.

Well now I know different. Sure there is emptiness, sure there is unease and uncertainty and ambiguity. There is both abundance and scarcity, loss and gain, pleasure and pain.  Now there is also acceptance. This is the way it is. Get used to it. Even better, start to enjoy it. ALL of it. The pleasure and the pain, the abundance and the scarcity, the loss and the gain. 

I continue to release myself from attachment to good and bad – all simply is – all is wonderful.

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

how would we feel

if whatever happened to us

was wonderful?

how would we feel if we accepted, understood, and looked forward to the wonder of;

• the death of a loved one
• a relationship’s end
• the loss of livelihood

If everything that was ever to happen to us was not just ok, it was bloody fantastic. Exciting. Full of opportunities to experience the wonder and joy of the world. Full of moments in which we could excel, expand, be huge!  What if, we KNEW this without any doubt.

How would we feel?

Where would we be?

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

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Been wanting to add something on this site for a while now , but have been a little perplexed as to what to say. Apart from all the usual stuff of how uplifting real and at times funny I find this site, it is really getting the message out there, as to us learning accepting and being the best that we can be in this moment. We spend so much time worrying about the past and fretting over the future .

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I found these words on the secret website and feel that they also share a place here. So here goes:

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet.

To give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

Just reading these words every morning brings so much inspiration into my life right here right now.

wishing everyone love and blessings Debbie xx