We met here on the island of real

she told me shut up and just feel

the stillness going on in your head

feel what is like, to be real dead.

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

The Shore. Devonport again. After two years away I hadn’t anticipated my reaction which is subtle yet obvious to me. The first sight of Rangitoto, the moving water at Narrow Neck Beach, Mt Vic looming at the end of Lake Road. As a write these words they seem like somewhere exotic, strange landmarks in a faraway land, describing a place only I and a few others are familiar with. Which I guess when I think of all those who do not know this place, is true.

Wide streets bordered by an eclectic assortment of houses, houses I used to feel were all so similar. Yet now when I look they are all so different, so many styles, so many different materials: bricks, glass, stone, wood, plaster. Old villas next to ultra-modern flat geometrical shapes. I rejoice in their variety. This is a paradise resting easily somewhere between old and new.

And palm trees? Where did they come from? How come I never noticed those before?

And the people who drive past me, who walk so casually along the footpaths, blissfully unaware of all I see, all that I feel. This sense of connection, significance, meaning, depth and discernment. This is other that just some place on a map, this is other than just some place to live. It has meaning to me now. More meaning that it ever did when it was ‘home’. Now it is part of my history, part of my past. I am now present in my past. This is a place to visit and remember, a place to notice what is new and what is not.

I am left once again in awe of my parents. Even more so now having lived in the land they came from. They changed their lives, changed their surroundings, changed their chances. They were happy here. I was happy here. Thanks mum and dad. Thanks once again for the life you gave me, for the choices you made.

It took me a long time to leave here and now that I am back sitting drinking coffee in the Stone Oven I do not want to stay. It seems a little unreal somehow. It seems like a nice place to visit. Nicer for sure than Brisbane or Surfer’s Paradise yet a holiday destination nevertheless. Maybe it is something about finally being free – a sense of leaving home and never wanting to be back home.

I love the strangeness that I feel. The feeling of being the outsider, the observer however subtle that is. I feel for those who do not see as I do. I do not wish to rejoin the ranks of those to whom the palm trees do not exist.

I am living a dream. My dream. I know now more than ever that I have become what I wished. I have made what I imagined. That being the case, now what? It is time for me to decide, to choose, to collapse potentialities and reach for the stars once again.

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

Onehunga

Cornwall Park

One Tree Hill

Aotearoa

Kia kaha, kia toa, kia manawanui

Kia Pakeha

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

The greatest ever performing single coming out of New Zealand, though having said that Dame Kiri or Hayley Westenra may have had more success – but have any of their songs been as catchy? Listen to this and you’ll be singing the chorus before you know it.

In 2002, “How Bizarre” was named as the 71st greatest one-hit wonder of all time on a VH1 countdown hosted by William Shatner (which in itself seems just a little bizarre).  It was a chart hit in many countries and spent multiple weeks at number one in several countries. For instance, the song peaked at number one for two weeks in Austria, three weeks in Ireland, three weeks in New Zealand and five weeks in Australia.

Hope you enjoyed it.

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

Thanks to Marney for the morepork

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x