thanks for holding my hand

and walking beside me

thanks for showing me the way

and encouraging me

to find it myself

thanks for your belief in me

for seeing the good in me

for taking me in and

providing me shelter

and love 

 I love you all

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

over

100

posts

Over 100 posts! Wicked! I am so so pleased to have been so prolific, to have created something as wonderful, as wonderfully fulfilling, as pleasing to me as this site. Thanks to all my friends, you have all been with me in this journey. Thanks to those who also contributed words- Cari, Tobe, Gaz and Nga, Kate, Phil, Max, Don and Caleb, Debs, Karen and Marney – you all have helped get onedharma here.

Thanks to all who visit here often. I’m sure (well I’m hoping anyway) that there are a lot more of you than I am aware of. Of those that I do know about, as you give me great support and advice, thanks Kate and Marney. Thanks for all the feedback and reassurance – it has been quite desperately needed at times.

Thanks to those that have spread the dharma through recommending the site, again thanks Marney, and Cari, thanks darling.

Thanks to all those that are browsing the site, and I know there are quite a few of you as I have some little gremlins (which of course I carefully keep away from bright lights, water and any midnight snacks) beavering away behind the scenes amassing all kinds of information. And so, just for Chas, Don, Lyn and the rest of the crew back at the audit office, here is the hard data:

• I posted my first post on 15 April 2008
• Post 100 was posted on 28 October 2008
• So that’s 100 posts in 197 days (hmmm over 1 every 2 days!)
• Official records started on 6 August 2008 (don’t ask me why they just did)
• On 6th August 2008 there were 246 hits and 63 page views on the site.
• On 30 October 2008 there were 2510 hits and 986 page views
• Monthly, there were:
  • 191 unique visitors, viewing an average of 5.25 pages in August
  • 207 unique visitors, visiting an average of 8.96 pages in September
  • 267 unique visitors, visiting an average of 11.18 pages in October
• Monthly the number of hits have increased:
  • 7427 in August
  • 15029 in September
  • 27552 in October

Yes sir, I’m well pleased. Chuffed even. I feel like a writer! Ha! And especially so over the last couple of weeks. There has been an explosion of writing, of all sorts. So, I feel like a writer! And today I realised what sort of writer I feel like.  A beat writer. To be more specific, an [up]beat writer!

Thanks again to all who are part of this journey, may you all be blessed, may you all be happy, may you all be liberated. May you all share in my dharma.

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

Firstly my apologies for the delay in publishing the recent competition results. I got a little caught up in my own stuff (see the previous post about turning lead into gold). The delay is in no way any indication of a lack of gratitude. Huge gratitude for all my friends, those that entered the competition and those that didn’t.  Enough of you did to get my telephone credit a very healthy boost, so thanks so much.  I am now once again in contact with the other side of the world.

So, without any further ado the winners are

Kate and Marney

Thanks so so much! Kate, I’ll call you sometime this week and catch up - we usually talk and laugh for more than a hour anyway, so I’m looking forward to that, and the rest of the prize package is a given really. That’s the wonderful thing about your entry into the competition – it wasn’t really one and you aren’t winning anything other than what you’ve already got. Wicked!

And Marney, well a different kettle of fish (ha, I mean no disrespect, I just love that saying, it was one of mum’s favourites, like six of one and half a dozen of the other). Anyway my dear friend, thanks so so much, and of course to call you, I need you phone number. And to send you a birthday card I need to know when your birthday is, and if you have already told me these things, then forgive me, and tell me again, and trust that I will make sure that I can recollect them in the future. And no, sorry, there is no ‘give my winnings to charity clause’ – you win, you get the call, you get the cards … and if I just happen to be passing, you get to put me up (and put up with me) for a couple of days.

Thanks again everybody!! Thanks Kate. Thanks Marney. I love you. Thank you so much

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

I was all ready to dive face first into a blue funk today. Did the groundwork last night; angry, sullen, silent, evasive. I made sure Cari knew. Not nice at all.

And now today – it’s 1.30 in the afternoon and I’m in bed. Haven’t got up, except to have a cigarette, haven’t washed, haven’t eaten, except to gnaw at a fingernail.

I was all ready to just lie around and wallow in my ever-so-justified anger, resentment and self-pity. To feel just so hard done by. Same old stuff. About the inheritance and who my brother is. Same old stuff that I have struggled with for the last 7 years or so.

It was starting to feel quite comfortable methinks …

I really thought I deserved to be able to vent some anger and feel sorry for myself. I was suffering after all. I was being victimised. I was hurting.

Maybe I was …

And …

This time …

I made it work for me. Sure I stayed in bed, sure I had a cigarette. Sure I got angry and hurt Cari (sorry my darling – and thank you so much for being there with your magic wand). And hopefully next time, as with this time, there’ll be less anger and hurt.

This time I turned lead into gold.  I stayed in bed for 5 hours and instead of sulking I made this, from scratch. I’m really pleased with it.

Ok, the golden nature of my creation may not be readily apparent right now. It was I discovered after I published it a VERY limited edition. Only a very select group of people witnessed it – and I didn’t do much of the selecting either. I am hoping the lead will again be transmogrified into gold with the help of my good friend, fellow alchemist and general all-round good ole honest cowpoke, Buck. To learn (a little) more about all this, click here ©

So thank you Steve. I know a lot of you out there have been waiting for me to see the light and speak the truth. Thank you all. Thank you Steve for being who you are. As much as mum, as much as Toby, as much as Max, you have played a huge part in my transformation over the last 5 years.

And what a transformation it has been. There have been times, more than once, when I have felt the philosopher’s stone in my hand, in my heart, in my mind. There is no better feeling – when all the world is warm and golden.

To all my friends, thanks. To those of you in the vid, don’t worry you look wonderful! To those of you not in the vid, that is only because I could not find your pic today. Send me a new one, or better yet lets get together and we’ll take a pic of us together, with huge smiles on our faces. I love you all xx

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

A well timed email my old friend – reminding me that it was your birthday today – and leaving me no time to send a card. In lieu of that, an acknowledgement here then.

Happy birthday dude! May this day be blessed. May you fully experience all the wonder and joy surrounding you. May you be present in all the mystery and grace of the moment, forever. The same moment, the same mystery, joy, wonder and grace that I often experience when I am with you.

Thanks my friend for all the words, all the smiles and laughter. All the simple understanding that you have given me. All the wisdom. All the non-judgement. All the lessons that we have shared. It has been the utmost pleasure. It is the utmost pleasure sharing life with you.

You are my teacher as often as my student. My coming and going. My departure and my return. I look forward to our next time together, as I have always done. And as always I know when that happens it will be the best of times.

May you be happy. May you be liberated. May you always share in my dharma.

I love you my friend.

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x