I had a WONDERFUL Christmas!! One of my best and I received some beautiful gifts from some beautiful people, and gave one gift that I was particularly happy about. So I thought I would just share some of these with you.

From my dear dear friend Marney, leading up to Christmas, I received, via email, a beautiful card. And it was so wonderful, particularly as you had created this marvellous thing knowing you would never send it, knowing I would never possess it. Knowing I did not need to. I saw in your card the love and affection you have for me. I saw that you know me!  Thanks Marney!

And I think your card may have in part inspired me to want to create something for Caroline. I had thought about a painting – a triptech, and had the idea of imaging a poem I had written for Cari when I was in Aotearoa and she was here. And then I recalled, that on one of my many excursions walking through the world of job-hunting, I had passed a paint-a-ceramic type shop in Wallington.

Soon after the whole thing came to me, and for the next few hours I furiously scribbled the design on the back of some Christmas wrapping paper. That moment of intense creativity as wonderful and as liberating as the most intense moment of meditation. I felt ecstatic, and was to feel that again over the three days I visited the ceramic shop. I sat there each time for over two hours, in silent contemplation and concentration, with Cari in my mind, creating. What a wonderful feeling and what a wonderful shop- called Glazed All Over.  Thanks so much Claire, and your mum, for your warm  and great advice- the cups of coffees – and what about that telecommunications drama -  I hope you’re all sorted now!!

The poem written in the bowl tells the story of a cat and dog who meet by accident at a crossroads and fall in love. And yet because of who they are, the worlds they lived in, they thought that maybe they would never be together, they thought they were too different, too far apart from each other. And they talked about this to each other when the other cats and dogs were not looking. And after a lot of talking the dog said to the cat, ‘it’s all ok’.

The cat heard the dog and in her understanding she howled so strongly, so loudly, so melifluously that all the other cats heard her. All the other cats didn’t know what this amazing sound was, and they went quiet and listened. And when the dogs could not longer hear the cats, they too heard the howl and they too went quiet. And when the people could no longer hear the dogs and the cats, they heard the howl of the cat, and they too went quiet. And soon all was quiet, all was still.

And the cat howled so strongly, so loudly, so melifluously that her voice woke up the moon, who looked down upon the earth below so quiet and still, except for this most beautiful haunting howl. And on hearing that most beautiful of sounds, the moon cried. And when the moon cries there are huge tears of love which are carried down on moonbeams, and the moon cried and cried.

And the moonbeams went everwhere on the quiet and still earth. All the beings on the land, all the beings in the sea, all the beings in the sky felt the moonbeams. And they heard the howl. And they heard the moonbeams and they felt the howl. And the spark of love entered all the beings.  And where before they had thought that they were all so different from each other, in the moonlight they saw that each and everyone of them had the spark inside. They saw their sameness.

And in that moment the cat looked at the moon. The moon looked at the dog. The dog looked at the cat. And they all saw each other and they all saw themselves, and they knew they were the same and that they would never ever be separated again.  And the cat and the dog and the moon laughed and laughed and laughed.

Thanks Cari, for understanding. For knowing me so well. For talking to me. Thanks for loving me as you do. Thanks for waking the moon.

And for Christmas Caroline gave me something incredibly special. I can think of no more wonderful present for me right now. It is the gift I wished for, and wondered if anyone, if Caroline in particular, would be brave enough, would know me well enough, would trust in her knowing enough, to give me this. Something so personally meaningful, something that is now so much a part of me. Something that would challenge me. Something that would provide me with an opportunity. It was a chance to walk my talk, almost literally.

Pali symbols for ‘bhavatu sabbe mangalum’, for ‘may all beings be happy’. Thank you darling. Perfect in every way. The symbols, the meaning (to me and to all), the attachment and the non-attachment, the merger of mind and body. A perfect gift in everyway (and note Kate – very portable!) – I love my tattoo. I am happy knowing that the sentiment, that the blessing is there on my body, spread across my back for all to see. Ha! And of course I have said that there are words I would have tattooed on my body, and this was top of the list, and of course now I have started…

Thank you so much darling.

And from Aotearoa I received a most wonderful gift from Kate. Keeping to the theme of cats and dogs, Kate took Buka along to the dog-groomer and got her a haircut (and from what I hear of the weather over there at the moment, she will be most appreciative). Thanks Kate, another perfect gift. Thank you for caring so much, not only for me, but for those I love. And I know Buka loves you and I think it is time to acknowledge, on her behalf, that you are officially part of her family.

And Tobe. As always, you know me so well. Thanks for the t-shirt. Thanks for the reminder. I wear the shirts you have given me with pride. As with my tattoo, it is reaffirming to wear NZ on my body. I love it, as I do my ‘CUZ’ shirt. Perfect. And the Moro bar disappeared quickly (shared I think between Cari and Tilly) and the Twisters and Burger Rings brought back memories. Cari did wonder however where the pineapple lumps were?

Thanks everyone for being part of a marvellous Christmas this year

And for anyone who is unsure about the importance of pineapple lumps to kiwis, watch the following …

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

… and the word was GOD

We ALL come from the word. We are all from the same place. We all return to the same place. Whatever we create in between is ephemeral. What we ALL create, by ourselves and with others is just the stuff in between. It is the stuffing. It is the journey.

In the beginning there was the word. Now there are so many words, so many symbols. This is our gift and our curse. This is the raw material from which we make stuff.  Our stuff. Through words and symbols we have come to describe GOD, YAHWEH, Allah, Shiva, the void, nirvana and all that supposedly comes with it.  With words and symbols we have, and do, define ourselves. We describe and understand ourselves as different. From what? From everything else.

And because we are different we use words and symbols to communicate with each other. We use words and symbols to communicate with our selves. And when we become close to one another, when we become close to our selves, the less need we have for words, the less we need symbols.

In the quiet there is the word.

In the end there is the word, and the word is GOD.

I have been thinking lately of words on a tombstone. It is not something I have thought much about before. Both my mum and my dad were cremated, and neither expressed any desire to be immortalised in any way. I have not thought about what words I would use for them. I have thought about my own words. And I thought that I have written so many already.

On my tombstone, if I was to have one, perhaps:

‘wow that seemed to take a lifetime’

or

‘I knew it would end like this’

I think that when I am gone there will be nothing more to be said, well by me at least.  You guys feel free to carry on.

It would be nice to get to that place before I die – to have run out of words. To dwell in the silence peacefully and at rest.  And anyway the more I write here, the more words there are to remember me by, for those of you who may choose to remember, or at least try to – ha.

However as always happens, some words did come to me. Words that I think are worthy of anyone’s gravestone. They are from a 13th-century Persian poet, mystic and philosopher.

‘When I die I shall soar with angels,

And when I die to the angels, what I shall become,

You cannot imagine.’

And I have just realised that my first thoughts of gravestones and words began with Rumi. So Marney, full circle, as always.

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

Firstly my apologies for the delay in publishing the recent competition results. I got a little caught up in my own stuff (see the previous post about turning lead into gold). The delay is in no way any indication of a lack of gratitude. Huge gratitude for all my friends, those that entered the competition and those that didn’t.  Enough of you did to get my telephone credit a very healthy boost, so thanks so much.  I am now once again in contact with the other side of the world.

So, without any further ado the winners are

Kate and Marney

Thanks so so much! Kate, I’ll call you sometime this week and catch up - we usually talk and laugh for more than a hour anyway, so I’m looking forward to that, and the rest of the prize package is a given really. That’s the wonderful thing about your entry into the competition – it wasn’t really one and you aren’t winning anything other than what you’ve already got. Wicked!

And Marney, well a different kettle of fish (ha, I mean no disrespect, I just love that saying, it was one of mum’s favourites, like six of one and half a dozen of the other). Anyway my dear friend, thanks so so much, and of course to call you, I need you phone number. And to send you a birthday card I need to know when your birthday is, and if you have already told me these things, then forgive me, and tell me again, and trust that I will make sure that I can recollect them in the future. And no, sorry, there is no ‘give my winnings to charity clause’ – you win, you get the call, you get the cards … and if I just happen to be passing, you get to put me up (and put up with me) for a couple of days.

Thanks again everybody!! Thanks Kate. Thanks Marney. I love you. Thank you so much

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

change nevertheless

There sometimes seems so much to say and do and be, and remember, and…. and… and….and anyway I’ve come to realise that that is just a feeling (albeit often a panicky and frantic feeling) and ultimately it all boils down to here and now.  I guess that modern sage ‘Nike’ was right when she said ‘Just Do It’.  Forget the rest, forget the backlog, let it go and just get on with it – ENJOY, BE, LIVE LIFE TO THE MAX

So that’s where I’ll start with this post – I’ve just become a deviant (aka new member) at deviantART – don’t get too excited or curious just yet, the main motivation for my deviancy is to keep in touch with my son Max who is already a well known deviant with a journal etc etc (see link under ‘family and friends’ in the menu). So in this wonderful technological and telecommunication age I have decided the easiest way to keep in touch with Max is through me leaving comments on his posts and….. well that’s it really. For anyone interested (although there won’t be much there) follow this link – simon’s a deviant

I stopped smoking on 30th July – the day of my interview, although that was a mere coinicidence (or not?).  I am not usually one for broadcasting, particularly in such a way as this, that I have stopped smoking – and I have done so numerous times in the past (and obviously started again). It’s just that this time …………….. something feels different – the moment feels different. Small change, big change. Change – the moment tastes of change.

Before I go – hi Marney and thanks for the post! Great to hear from you, I was thinking of you a few days ago. There are a raft of billboards up over here advertising a new movie starring Mike Myers – ‘The Love Guru’ – made me think of you, and me, and Al, and all the stuff that goes with it. Thought it could be worth a looksee – and hopefully have a few laughs at my own expense – ha. I hope all is going well, I know at times it can be difficult, what Cari seems to do is ‘get in my face’ (in the nicest way possible) and I love and need her to do that – to bring me back home, to open my eyes once again to that which is right in front of me.

And lastly, because I do…..

Thanks to usaguichan for the vid – excellent work man – check him out on You Tube

x bhavatu sabbe mangalum x

Hey Simon..

good luck with the job interview, I hope though, it doesn’t curtail your adventures..

Love the photos you post, the stories connected to them and mostly, your honesty.. par excellence

Love and good wishes,

Marney from Southern climes